turn around

Uuuuuuugh, I'm so ashamed of myself. I made a really, really stupid mistake last night. I visited him at his work. *sigh*

I just wanted an apology, I wanted to hear him grovel. I wanted some kind of fucking explanation on why he completely flaked.

The stupid fucker didn't even apologize. He asked how I'd been, I said "good," and he went into his usual rant about how the past two weeks have been soooooo crazy and shitty and hectic, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I just nodded, raised my eyebrows sarcastically, and asked for a pack of smokes (he works at a gas station/mini mart).

He just kept on talking, I could tell he was freaking out, which made me both laugh and cry inside. Ugh, he's such a dick.

So, then he invited me to come up to his house and play video games with him and our friend, Brian, but I declined. And then he tells me to call him when I wake up tomorrow (which would be today), and he'll drive out to my city - he wants to get coffee together. I was just like "yeah, sure," and drove off.

Guess who's not doing the calling now.

So my pride is bruised -- I shouldn't have gone to see him. But, at the same time, I'm glad I did. Now it's not this big fucking mystery, I don't need to wonder how he feels. I don't fucking care. He's a selfish asshole, and I am so over him and just never want to talk to him again. He's such a little boy....he didn't even have the fucking guts or manners or whatever to apologize.

So all that's done now.

I met up with Bekah and Sinjin after that. It was pretty fun. Bekah had her rhyming dictionary on her, so we took turns busting some rap songs out of it. Haha. I don't remember exactly how mine went, except it started with, "Yo, my soup is carroty, I served it at the charity." hahahahaha

I just checked my checking account and I have $80!!! What the-? So, instead of being responsible and saving all that money, I totally feel like heading down to Best Buy. I still want that $30 Ramones CD, Mason Jennings' new CD came out yesterday, and I want Lost in Translation!!! Maybe I'll just get the movie and the Mason Jennings CD. I shouldn't spend anything.

*sigh* Temptation.