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I've been drinking more black & tans, and reading, reading, reading. In the past week, I finished both "Paper Moon" and "Branded." I read "Like the Red Panda" in a day and a half. Today, I read a British "thriller" called "The Hole" (a disappointing book, by the way). And now I'm reading "Already Dead" by Denis Johnson. I never thought I'd get so much reading done simply by living alone. I knew I'd get more done, but not this much. I love it.

So, tonight is my last night alone. I'm tempted to stay up until the sun comes out, savor every last minute of the week's freedom. But it's only 1 a.m. and I'm already sleepy.

I planned on having people over tonight, but I'm enjoying all this alone-time too much. Even though I occasionally bitch about boredom, or complain that I can't leave because my dog will freak out and poop all over the place, I do like staying home and lounging with a good book and a beer. I know if people come over tonight, it will be the same as it always is at the coffeeshop and I'll sit there while everyone else enjoys eachother's company and ignores me and I'll just be angry and resentful because they're at my house. Spending the night alone is much easier. It's nicer to pretend I have no friends than it is to be around ones that make me feel like poo.

I'm really missing my Bay Area friends. I can't wait to visit next month and see everyone again. James sent me a message through friendster the other day -- says he misses me, thinks about me a lot. *sigh* I miss him, too. Maybe more than anyone else. I definitely think about him a lot.

James was previously referred to as "the boy" a couple years ago and is the one who got back with his trollish, nutty ex just when things were going well (or so I thought) with us. I got a wonderful friend out of the whole thing.

I just miss my San Jose life in general. It's so depressing that I'll never have it back. Not in the same way, at least.

Bah, I'm just in a slump right now. A whole general slump: no school, stupid job, living at home, no friends (except Kelli, who's going through a lot of crap and is, therefore, unable to hang out or talk as much as we would prefer).

Each time my fingers pause on the keyboard, while I'm thinking of the next words to say, I look up at the TV and find myself genuinely interested in this stupid hairloss treatment infomercial. I don't even have hairloss. I'm really getting sleepy, yes?

Some of these men actually look much better bald. And one of them looks suspiciously much like our highschool's star quarterback, Paul. Hmmm.

Tomorrow, I have a lot of cleaning to do. My parents are coming home. Damn.

I work on Sunday, and on Monday morning, as well. But I'm going to ask for a half-day on Monday, get off at noon, and then go see Eternal Sunshine nextdoor (if my boss actually lets me leave early, that is). I'm so glad I got out of tomorrow's shift -- there are like three new movies this weekend and our store will be packed. I just don't have the patience anymore.

This entry is dull. I am, too. I'm going to go smoke a cigarette now and then put myself to sleep. I swear I had something better to say tonight, but I forgot it as soon as I started typing. Sigh.