viva las vegas

We interrupt the usual train of boring entry after boring entry to bring you the following news brief: I HAVE SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT!

Last week, I got a call from Joseph, one of my best friends from college. We chat, we talk, and then he tells me he's going to Vegas with some friends for the weekend, and invites me to come along.

Within the next five hours, everything is planned: Kelli and I will go to Vegas Friday night (she found a babysitter immediately), meet up with Joe and friends, stay in our own room, and come back home Saturday night.

This was so fucking exciting, if not merely for the fact that Kelli and I had NEVER gone on a trip anywhere together. Not even Disneyland. There was one time in high school that I went with her family to Big Bear for a weekend, but it didn't count because we were stuck with her parents the entire time, sneaking cigarettes in the basement while the family fought upstairs.

So, we did it. We packed up, hit the road, and in a few hours we were driving down the strip, oohing and aahing at all the flashy lights.

We stayed at the Boardwalk -- the small, cheap hotel, but it's right in the center of the strip and our room had the best view ever. We met up with Joe & Friends at New York New York, quickly lost $20 each at the machines, and there were no cocktail waitresses to be found. Frustrated, we begrudgingly decided to actually pay for a drink, then had trouble finding the bar. Then paid a good $10 for teeny tiny drinks.

We decided the New York New York sucked butt, and made our way over to the Bellagio instead. Last time I was in Vegas (when I was 19), they were still building the Bellagio. I knew it would be beautiful and, yessiree, it was.

I did pretty well at video poker there. Put in a twenty, was up almost double, but then jinxed myself I guess by spilling one of my free drinks half on my lap, half on the machine. Hehe. I lost and lost from there. Cashed out at $10. Kelli and Joe's friend, Alex, were off at the slot machines, so Joe and I hung out at the bar and proceeded to get completely sauced.

Then Kelli comes back, two drinks in tote, announcing that she's sick of gambling and wants to go out dancing.

We walk around the strip looking for a place to dance for free. We find nothing. I have to pee, so we slip into the nearest building (which happens to be the Boardwalk, but none of us even realize this until the end of the night). We all use the bathroom, and then....hark, is that live music we hear?

Yes, and it was not just any live old band. It was a Prince tribute band, complete with a Prince impersonator! We head in, make a beeline for the dance floor and start shaking our booties.

None of you have ever seen Kelli and I dance together. We're not the cute, bi-curious, freaking-our-best-friend-to-turn-on-the-guys girls you may see in other clubs. No. We face eachother and she'll do the car window while I bust out my robot. She does the 80's hair swing while I try out a tootsie roll. HAHA! We just combine a shitload of age-old basic dance moves and make silly faces at eachother. I don't know why...don't ask. Yes, we look like total retards doing it, but it's fun as hell, so we do it anyway.

So, yeah, we're in the middle of this "Prince" show, dancing like idiots, when I start to realize we're the only two people on the floor now. Oh well, I think, this is fun! But Kelli suddenly stops dancing, grabs my arm, and whispers in my ear, "We need to sit down. I think we're gonna get our asses kicked here." I laugh, drunk, and shake my head. She grabs me again, "Brooke, look around."

Having not looked around whatsoever when we got there, assuming the audience was a plethora of diverse faces, ages, sexes, whatever, I'm a bit surprised to look around to see that we are a) the only people there under 30, and b) the only two white people in there. Period. And there are middle-aged black people, apparently true die-hard Prince fans, glaring at us for "making fun" of the show. Hehe. So we sit.

Until they play Purple Rain. Then Kelli says fuck it, drags me back to the dance floor, and we "dance."

After the show, they were offering pictures with "Prince" for $10. Kelli pays the lady and we get our picture taken.

We start the gambling again, I lose another $20, and go to bed.

This entry is long, and I'm only halfway done with my vacation. I'll make the second half short:

Saturday morning, nice and hungover. After coffees, showers, and checkout, we head to Denny's. Somehow, it's not as exciting as it used to be to smoke in a public restaurant.

It was at least 100 degrees that day, and Kelli started feeling dizzy and faint. Though we've already checked out, we decide to head back to the Boardwalk, get an iced mocha and sit down for awhile. But as soon as we get in there, she needs to sit, so she sits at a slot machine and, fuck it, starts playing. I get my mocha, and then find her at the video poker machines. I start to play, too. Lose another $15.

"I'm done! Vegas sucks!" I say. "I might as well drive down the strip throwing $20 bills out the window. I keep losing."

Kelli's up, so I get a beer and hang out waiting for her. She gets a beer, goes back down. Now we're stuck at the casino until we finish our drinks.

"Well, I still have $20 I set aside for gambling," says Kelli. "Do you mind if I play roulette for a few?"

Not at all. We head over. She keeps putting $5 on even, keeps winning, and now she's up to like $40.

Screw it, I say, scoot over. I'm playing. I give the dealer $20 for 20 $1 chips, and start placing my bets. I win. Place my bets. Win. Place my bets. Win. Before I know it, I have $77. Kelli's down to her last five chips.

"Dude," she says, "I'm just gonna put them wherever you put yours." She does, and I win her like $13 or something. We keep winning. Keep winning. Everyone at the table is like "What the fuck?" I place a chip on 8. Ball lands on 8. Lotsa money (for me, at least). The whole time we sat there, there were only like 3 spins that I didn't win on.

Anyway, I ended up walking away with $133!!! Quit while I was ahead. So I re-loved Vegas all over again.

All in all, I think the trip ended up costing me about $20, hahaha!

So, that was my awesome trip.

Does anyone know how I can post a photo here after scanning it? The Prince photo rocks.

I know I promised more about the stupid boy, but he'll just have to wait. My hands hurt, and I'm sure your eyes do, too.